Child number three

I must be crazy.
After having two children just 22 months apart I found the early years of their life to be the hardest thing in my life that I have ever done. If asked would I have another one it's always been a very definite no way. Not a chance, would never go back to doing that again.
I'm just getting some of my life back and finding myself now that both children are in school. Then it seems over the last few months I am noticing a number of friends having babies around me. Some of them having their first and some their second. Noticing that I am enjoying visiting them and their beautiful bubs in a way that I have never really enjoyed other people's babies before. Then I find myself feeling like Motherhood has really been a great experience. So much to learn from in being a Mother that I could not get any other way in life.
I have also pulled out some 'old' or not so old videos of my kids from just 3 or 4 years ago in their toddler years and enjoying watching them with my school aged kiddies now. They giggle, I giggle and they love watching themselves on video. They were really cute kiddies, thats not bias either, lol. Then I find myself getting all clucky again.
I love the age my kids are at now. They are growing into independent little humans with a voice of their own, interests of their own and unique personalities that shine a little of each parent out of them both. They are at an age that I had been lokking forward to.
So why do I feel like I want another baby to turn my world upside down with chaos, laughter, tears, laughter, more chaos and more tears? I must be going crazy. My hubby thinks I am going crazy too for wanting to do it all over again too. But I do, so we are in a process of trying to conceive another baby to fill our hearts with more love and joy along with all the hard times that come with having children. Though I feel like I will cope much better than I did the first time around as I am older and more understanding than I was when I was younger, and actually have a much clearer understanding of what its like to raise children. Though I know they are all unique and different in their own way and come with their own special stamp of challenges. But the love and joy that is rewarded far out weighs any of those tough times that come up in having children.